I received this idea from Erica over a month ago, but just haven't had a chance to share it.  For this to work we must all do it and pass it on to others... ok here it goes. You know how irritating it is that on any given day 80% of your mail is useless junk sent out by credit card companies, banks, long distance companies and the like to solicit your hard-earned money, well here is the plan.....  take the flyer from junk mail one and mail it in the postage paid envelope of junk mail 2 and vice-versa.  Then the solicitor becomes the solicitee, plus they have to pay the postage...... pretty good huh?  Just be careful that your name and/or address is not on any of the info you mail off.  Maybe we can come up with a similar idea for phone solicitors..... Let me know if you are going to try it... it can actually be therapeutic after a long hard day at work.

A few days ago, I was praising the countryside and our new house... well things have changed.  I was attacked today by a 6 foot long killer scorpions  that then came back to life.......  In my attempt to keep everything organic (urges faltering)  I have sprayed down the entire laundry room with orange oil (walls, doors, floor, cabinets).  It may be a mess, but it sure smells good.

Ok, here are the top 10 reasons to never live "IN THE COUNTRY"

10.  Hard to give people directions to your house.  

9.    Lose of electricity every other day  

8.    Must plan ahead for meals or you have to use canned mushrooms instead of fresh...

7.    Start using phrases like "going to town"

6.  explaining that yes, Waco does have suburbs

5.  Septic system.... enough said

4.  Taco Bueno get cold before you can get home

3.  dogs who run through  brush and get those little tiny stickers stuff all in their fur  and then come in the house right after you have cleaned the floors

2.  Snakes... haven't seen any yet, but sure they are around.... big ones who thirst for human blood

1.  Scorpions..... those man eating ones from Africa which were imported to China Spring 

I am back and yes with a wonderful new day that I am sure you were not aware of.   You probably knew that this was Secretaries day and the people at my office made-up that is was Technical Week, but did you know that today was also "NATIONAL TURN OUT OF THE WRONG LANE DAY"... Yes, I don't know what annual celebration it was and you are probably upset that you found out about it too late, but just thought you might feel more enlightened.... 

Sorry I haven't had much of an opinion lately, but the whole presidential thing was just a bit too much  to handle.  Now that it is over, like many of you, I have mixed emotions.  I am glad he is in there, but then again, what kind of term is it going to be.  I do know one thing, though, I am tired of hearing how we have "stolen" the election.  I do not think the Republicans were the ones trying to re-write law.   Too bad that one man and his BLIND followers had to ruin what could have been one of the best presidencies.  But then again, it is a sign of our times, doesn't it seem appropriate that a man who would begin his term with a prayer service would have this much trouble getting into office.  I honestly believe that if "the reverand jesse jackson" would spend a little more time in prayer and a little less time stirring up arguments and rowsing up the un-informed, he might have been a Bush backer also.

Well so much for that, now moving on to another problem I have had lately.  Fires.... I can't seem to start a fire to save my life.  You know how they say to be careful around Christmas time because Christmas Trees are so flammable, well, that is a big bunch of Hoohy.  I tried lighting a fire in our fire place the other night, and as usual, it wouldn't light, so I put some Christmas tree branches on it we had trimmed off.  The branches put the flame out...I have no idea... 

One last thought.

November 24, 2000

I thought I would share with you all of the email about the election I have received.  Hope you haven't already been forwarded all of this.

Lottery Problems

Dr. Seuss goes to Florida

Bush Address

Democrat-Approved Ballot

Mini-Bush

Lottery Problems

I feel that a great injustice has happened to me in the past week!! I played the Texas State Lottery on Wednesday night, November 8, 2000. I had every intention of winning - otherwise I would not have gone to the trouble of driving to the gas station to purchase my ticket. However, it wasn't until after the drawing that I realized that I had BY MISTAKE filled in the wrong numbers on my lotto card. Instead of picking the winning combination, I somehow became confused and filled in the WRONG NUMBERS! I will take action against the lottery commission seeking only the amount of Wednesday's jackpot. I will be retaining Johnny Cochran to represent me in court, and Jesse Jackson has agreed to handle all public relations regarding this matter. If that has happened to anyone else, please email me so that this grave injustice is corrected - THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!!!

Don't know much about history   Don't know much foreign policy   Don't remember how I got through school   I'm sure I didn't break the rules   But what's it matter 'cause my granny says   "Boy, if you want to you can be the prez   And what a wonderful world this will be"   Don't know much about the women's vote   Don't know much about the bill I wrote   Don't know much about the foreign vets   I've never voted for 'em yet   But I do know if your dad tries hard   He can get you in the National Guard   And what a wonderful place that can be   Now I never claimed to be an A student   But what's wrong with C's?   And maybe by knowing the names of my cabinet   I can win their love for me   Don't know much about air pollution   Don't know much about the constitution   Don't know much about th'economy   It never much affected me   But there's one thing that I know for sure   If the rich stay rich and the poor stay poor   What a wonderful world this will be   Don't know much about the national debt   I've never had to pay one yet   If we need to we can sell the States   To the Japanese at discount rates   But I do know if things get bad   Dick and I can always call my dad   And what a wonderful world this will be.

I have decided that I am getting old, AND, I have decided that what is wrong with the children of today is their parents lack of concern in the area of candy digestion.  Let me give you an example.  This past Wednesday night at prayer meeting, there was a young man, about 14-15 (I'm not sure, anyone under 20 looks 12 to me know a days) and he was sitting with his parents (right next to his mother).  Now, he seemed like a well raised child, but for some reason, she kept allowing him to ingest large, hard candy.  Now I know, you are thinking I have really spent too much time in the lab, but this kid didn't understand how hard candy is meant to be enjoyed in the company of others and kept CHOMPING and I don't mean, a bite or two.... I mean, long, hard, multiple pieces, during church and it was......getting to me....really getting to me....  and then I remembered that he was sitting next to his mother.... the woman who should be teaching him that this is not proper behavior even when not in church, and she did nothing.  I am very glad that the service was soon wrapped up so that I didn't have to do that "old-cranky lady" look where you kind of turn around half-way as if to say, "hmm....I know you want to stop doing that", not that I have ever given that look in my life... anyway, so I figure if parents aren't even teaching their children the most basic of etiquette, how are they supposed to know when they are really pains in the derriere.

I know you have all been humming in antici-pation (for all of the Rocky Horror fans) of a new opinion, and well, I really don't have anything for you today.  Just the same old complaint about Dallas drivers and 12 year-olds working at Petsmart, but nothing new and exciting, sorry I'll try harder for next week.

Tracy 

For the last few weeks I have been trying to think of the name of a cartoon I loved as a child.  It had these strange super-hero's like a baby that always carried a bottle, but had a very deep voice and a man made of rubber and a guy who thought he was a chicken, or something like that.  Anyway, I found these fun sights in my searching, but still haven't thought of the name of that cartoon.  If you can help, let me know...

The 80's Cartoon Alliance

80's Cartoon Central

June 1, 2000

This was emailed to me today and I just couldn't resist sharing it with you. Notice that I haven't added anything to it, or made any comments within the text...there is nothing more I could add!

WHAT WE NEED IS SMART PARENTS

Tuesday, March 14, 2000 DICK FEAGLER

We don't need smart guns. What we need is smart parents. There ought to be a smart parent law. Smart parenting ought to be hotly debated in Congress. How about a waiting period before you can produce a child? How about a background check? How about mandatory child safety instruction? How about a marriage license? How about some attention paid to lost and rudderless children? How about a federally mandated hug or slap on the fanny? How about a feeling of family? How about a ban on "Saturday night special" kids—children who are created on urge, after booze or crack, then left to rot in drug houses when their parents have abandoned them. How about orphanages for them? How about a roundup of the guys who brag on the street about how many girls they've knocked up? How about these guys wear a scarlet "S" for "Shame?" Congress is too crafty to insult dumb parents by calling them dumb. After all, they vote. Or may. And some of the dumbest, worst parents make six-figure incomes and drive SUVs; or so the news stories imply. And how about them? How about the dual-achieving mother and father, nicely mated in the fern-hung Yuppie bars of the '80s? Now they have built their dream house and surrendered their kids to the media-Manson culture. They hear loud noises from the garage but are too timid to go out and discover their children building bombs for study hall. Later, we read all about these parents in the headlines. But who are they? Are they as smart as they thought they were? How about an intelligence check for them?The fashionable solution is to let the parents stay dumb and make the guns smart. If guns become smarter than people, many lives will be saved; or so the hip rhetoric goes. But the idea of making guns smarter than people is a pretty dumb idea. Handguns are put on Earth for one reason only. And that reason is to shoot a hole in somebody. If they were smart enough to talk, they would acknowledge that killing was their sole ambition. It is unrealistic to ask a lump of metal to give up its purpose in life. A gun has no ears. It cannot hear the stirring political rhetoric. A gun is a small, round tunnel through which a bullet may be fired. A gun has no soul, no intelligence and no conscience. Guns have no desire to become smart. It's impossible to punish a gun for blowing a hole in the wrong person. Guns go into evidence but they never go into jail. There is no way to rehabilitate a gun. Since Genesis, people were supposed to be smarter than things. If people decide they want a child, they ought to be smart enough to be responsible for it.

Man Arrested in Fake Orgasm Study

FORT COLLINS, Colo. (APBnews.com) -- A 45-year-old man was arrested Monday and charged with paying women $10 an hour to participate in a fake study of the female orgasm, police said. Anthony Lasirena placed ads in the local newspaper, the Coloradoan, and the Colorado State University newspaper, the Rocky Mountain Collegian, to solicit subjects for the phony sex research project he conducted at his home, Fort Collins police spokeswoman Rita Davis said. The ads ran from March 29 to April 14, she said. He told women who responded to the ads that he worked for a firm, Research Associates, which apparently does not exist, Davis said. "Lasirena claimed the research was to identify potential physiological changes in women before and after the G-spot orgasm," Davis said. (Now doesn't that sound "scientific")Lasirena told APBnews.com today that his attorney advised him not to comment.

Women felt 'violated' After having the women fill out surveys and waiver forms at his home, (need I even comment on this one? But then again, he might have something doing reserach at home) he conducted physical examinations on the women's breasts and genitals and used a surgical pen ($10 it was one of those laundry markers) to mark various areas on the body, Davis said. He then took photographs of the women's bodies and performed the same process after they reached orgasm, she said. Lasirena allegedly offered the women alcohol to help them relax. He also offered to help the women reach orgasm if they were unable to do so through self-stimulation, Davis said (It can never be said that scientist aren't helpful). A search warrant turned up records that led police to four women -- ages 18, 19, 20 and 41 (Now, remember he is 45, but at least he didn't accept anyone under 18)-- who participated in the phony sex survey, she said. Police believe there is a fifth victim, but she has not been contacted. "[They] are feeling very violated and very betrayed by the misrepresentation of the individual," Davis said. (Like it matters if it was a real study or not, they masturbated in front of this man for $10...Cheap prostitutes cost more than that.)

Cop poses as subject The fake study was uncovered after a Fort Collins woman who responded to one of Lasirena's newspaper ads had contacted police because she felt the project was not legitimate, (Sad to think it took 5 of them before someone thought it may not be legitimate) she said. A police officer posing as a potential subject for the study confirmed the woman's suspicions after talking with Lasirena, Davis said. Lasirena, who is on disability for a psychological disorder, (This means we paid for his "research subjets") is charged with criminal impersonation, providing alcohol to minors and sexual exploitation of a child. The sexual exploitation charge stems from child pornography police found at his home, she said. He is free on $10,000 bond pending his first court appearance today, according to a spokeswoman for the Larimer County Detention Center.

By Richard Zitrin, an APBnews.com national correspondent

I saw this yesterday and thought it might not be a bad idea for Joe and I.

If you have ever been to our house, you know what I am talking about.

Well, here it is, my first installment. I thought long and hard about what observent observations to enlighten you with, and here it goes..... Keep on honking at that guy who always runs the "yeild to ramp" sign, (just make sure he doesn't hit you!) and one fine evening when you are driving home, he will be there, but, unlike any other time, a Richardson Police Officer will also be there, and the Fine Protector of our Safety will drive safely by you, get in front of you some-what dirty explorer, put on his lights and serve justice to that crazed lunitic, who showed no regard for your safety.... Or something like that.

Which leads to the next point. I have decided that the downfall of man began with the invention of the automobile. We would all be much more humble people if we had to walk.